Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My heart is broken

My wonderful, smart, and loving cat Buddy has died. That’s her pictured in my blog heading. She was with us for over 11 years and was very much a member of our family. She had an amazing understanding of words. When we said “Mousie,” she would go look for her favorite toy. If we said, “Birdy,” she would jump up and look out the window. If asked, “Do you want candy (treats)?” she would meow in response and paw our leg for more. If we asked, “Are you hungry?” we’d better be heading to the kitchen because she would be. Her favorite pastime was playing fetch with her mousie and she did it better than any dog. We'd toss it and she would run and get it and bring it back and drop it in front of us. She would do this over and over until she got too tired and then she would just lay down indicating she’d had enough. As our son Jay said when he learned of her death, “She was an awesome cat with a person’s personality.”

Buddy had a window seat where she could watch us when we went outdoors or watch the outside cats as they went about their business. If we were gone, she was always sitting on the seat waiting for us when we arrived home. When the door was unlocked, she would be there asking, “Where have you been? It’s time to feed me!” Now we come home to an empty house. She was always with us when we were home. It got to be a joke that we couldn’t go to the bathroom alone. She loved to get in the sink and drink from a stream of running water. I finally put a small fountain on the kitchen floor and she loved getting her water from it. She had her own piece of furniture, an old upholstered hassock that she literally shredded. It sits by Jim's recliner and she would sit there beside him when she wasn't napping on his lap. She had several major health problems over the years including having most of her teeth pulled and feline hepatitis, so I’m surprised she lived as long as she did, but I wanted her to live forever.

I buried her surrounded by her mousies including Squeaky that Jay got her for Christmas, and one of Jim’s old gloves that she liked to wrestle with and lay on. Mom gave me a solar-lighted dragonfly for Mother’s Day and I used that to mark her grave until we can get a proper pet marker.

I find myself hearing a little noise and turning around to talk to her but she’s not there. I think I see movement out of the corner of my eye but when I look, she’s not there. I go outside and look up at the window but she’s not there. But she is forever in my heart.

9 comments:

pussreboots said...

I'm sorry for your loss. :(

a real librarian said...

**hugs** I am so sorry for your loss!!

Lisa Rusczyk said...

Kat, I'm sorry to hear of your kitty passing. I'll be thinking of you.

katrinastonoff said...

Oh, so sorry! We lost ours last year, and we still miss him terribly.

BTW, here's an ironic twist: my word verification was "coping."

Kat Bryan said...

Katrina, I guess I didn't cope well since this was my last post.

I've been reading but not nearly as much and not new books. I've been turning down new reviews since I just can't seem to commit to them. Been busy doing other things.

My husband has been laid off since June 17 and will be until at least Jan. 1. He's elegible to retire next summer so it's good practice for that although the pay (umemployment) sucks. LOL

Karin said...

I enjoyed hearing about Buddy. He was quite the cat. I'm sorry for your loss.

Karin said...

I meant to say 'she' was quite the cat.

Bets Davies said...

Buddy was an amazing cat. Your tribute to her shows such love and a relationship with a close member of the family. That's the sad thing about most pets, and perhaps a beautiful thing. You love them. Before you have turned around they have had a full life, loved and loving, and then they are gone. We still have a life to live for years beyond that. Grief may never completely fade, but only lessen. However I know your love of her will never fade. You will have her with you in your love and thoughts for the rest of your life.

I know this sounds like sacrilege, but I've been through a lot of pets, so bear with me. The best thing to do is to get another pet. It doesn't have to be a cat, though it could be. That animal will never be Buddy, and perhaps you will resent your new pet at first, but you will love them. Don't let a death close your heart. As in Harold and Maud "That's good. Now go love some more."

Kat Bryan said...

Thank you for the kind words Bets. Buddy was not my only cat, just the only house cat. I wasn't going to have another inside but that ended up not being my decision. One of our young outside tomcats broke his hind leg. We had it set but it got infection and ended up having to amputated. We had to bring him inside to heal and of course, he's still here. His name is Cooper and he's SO ornery and so much entertainment. It was a hard adjustment for him to come in when he was almost an adult. He still wants to go outside is VERY vocal about his wishes.